Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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