and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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