I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
