I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
