She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
