Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
