I got her a Nickelback box set.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
