News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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