Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
