I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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