i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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