i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
