A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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