I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
