I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
