Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
