i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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