So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
