Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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