its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
