Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
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Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
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Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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