Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
