Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
