If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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