Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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