Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
