i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
