in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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