u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
