I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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