the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
