Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
