Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
