If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Be still, my beating vagina.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
