So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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