Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize