i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
