And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just blew my weed a kiss
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
