i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
