Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Everclear isn't food dammit
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
