This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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