How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
