I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
