Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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