The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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