Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
