I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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