Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
