As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
pop tarts are not kleenex
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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