That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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