i think my tv is drunk
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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