Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
