dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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