I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
