who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i out mim tonsoeep
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