when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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