And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
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It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
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I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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