I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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